So the number one dreaded day for singles is upon us, anti Valentine's Day groups are appearing all over the web, scorned women are organising gatherings to burn reminders of their lost loves and every shop in the land looks like its interior decorations have been based on a giddy teenage girl’s doodle book.
I’ve never been a fan of the 14th February, whether I’m in a relationship or not, it’s like NYE but with heart shaped chocolates that taste like dog treats and half dead flowers that cost the earth. You can never get a reservation at the restaurant you want to and even if you do, your dinner is spoilt by the vomit inducing sight of two spotty teenagers in the first blush of lust who know nothing about all the shit that’s coming their way.
Gosh that makes me sound bitter doesn’t it? I’m not (well maybe a little) but I disagree about the fact that so much pressure and cost is put on a couple (and singles) for one day of the year.
Singles are put under forced house arrest for the day and for weeks before are made to feel like they are being pitied as they walk down the aisle that’s littered with cards for “The best person in the world” with their focus remaining firmly forward and not purchasing anything. Just a reminder that you aren’t anyone’s “special person” laced with glitter and images of cute cuddly cats. Do you stop to pretend you’re looking for a card just to avoid their “poor you” eyes?
Every email I’ve got in the last few weeks from companies I loyally buy from have insulted me. All of the promotions they have on offer are for the loved up elite, what about us lot that are going to be dining for one eh? No special discounts for us? Single-ist behaviour if I’ve ever seen it! I might sue.
You can’t get away from the bloody saga, even when I’m out on a Saturday night and using the bathroom at my local I’m confronted with two giggly young girls talking about the spag bol their amazing boyfriend’s are cooking for them, he’s even getting candles. Oh please, spaghetti bolognese? They could at least cook something that doesn’t feature in the regular weekly diet of the population of the UK.
I was presented by one fascinating article about Valentine’s yesterday though, one I actually enjoyed reading. Here it is for your amusement too:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/20_000_tons_of_pubic_hair_trimmed
That’s the kind of thing I want arriving in my inbox!
So anyway, want to know what I’m doing on Sunday? I admit this with some shame in my tone of voice... I’m spending the night with my ex, I know, I know. Pitiful isn’t it? In my defense when I organised the meeting I didn’t realise the date as I’ve purposefully ignored my calender now for at least a week. All the same though, I am kind of relieved that at least I won’t be spending it alone, no matter how complicated and ridiculous it may appear from the outside. The reasons behind this happening is a whole other story and one I’m sure you will all berate me for but hey ho. Chinese takeaway for TWO coming my way.
The sad fact of it is this; we all scramble to find someone before this day so we’re not sat in front of the TV with a large glass of wine, alone, watching some movie that we know is going to make us a shareholder in Kleenex.
No matter how much you try to convince yourself it’s just another day you’re going to fail. You might get to lunch time, maybe even tea time but I guarantee that at some point in the day you’re going to get that self pitying pang of “poor me” and possibly write a scorning letter to Hallmark blaming them for all the wrongs in this world.
The only option for the singles is to invite other singles around for the evening, to not go near any cinema, restaurant, in fact any public place, keep the curtains closed and watch a slasher movie. I wonder how many hours will be spent cursing ex boyfriend’s and girlfriend’s? I bet the words “I hate them” will be said more than “I love you”, not something Hallmark are going to promote though, maybe they should. Clearly an untapped market.
To those of you in relationships I hope you’re going to live up to your partner’s unrealistic expectations of the day, if you don’t, more fool you. To the singles, I recommend marshmallows, The Shining and a bottle of Malbec.
And lastly, please don’t judge me too much because I bet given the chance, you’d have done the same! (You probably wouldn’t but I’m going to keep telling myself that for now)
If nothing more, I bet I’ll get a blog out of it.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
How much does physical beauty really matter?
It’s believed that you make a decision on whether you fancy someone within seconds of meeting them, so how does this stand by the statement that many people make that they go for personality rather than looks? Personally I think that’s a crock of shit.
Of course personality is an important part but not initially. There has to be a physical attraction between two people for a relationship even to get to first base but does that need for chemistry sometimes mean we become shamelessly shallow?
Have any of you ever heard of the website www.beautifulpeople.com ? If you haven’t I shall try to explain its purpose. It was started some years ago now as a dating site for people that class themselves as “beautiful”, we’re not talking inside and out beautiful, here we mean only model, perfect, toned, manicured and hairsprayed beautiful.
If you go to their sign up page their USPs are as follows...
Do looks matter to you, when it comes to selecting a partner?
Do you want to guarantee your dates will always be beautiful?
No more filtering through unattractive people on mainstream sites.
What jumps out first to me is the people that you’re going to meet on this site are on the whole going to be as dull as dish water but look fit as f***. So if you’re just looking for a one nighter, all good. If you want intelligent, stimulating conversation that has a two way street and isn’t permanently consumed by ego stroking this site may not be for you.
And this isn’t the worst part...
To keep “ugly” people away from this site there is a brutal voting system to allow people to join. You upload a picture and existing members basically tell you whether you’re gorgeous or an utter dog. If you don’t get an above average rating, you’ve got no chance!
When you do get in, it’s not any nicer either. I signed up a while ago now just to see what kind of people would actually go on this site and intended to have a bit of a joke at their expense. To be honest, the site renders me a little speechless. I’ve heard some terrible chat up lines before and given some knock backs but never have I had the reply “Your loss, plenty of other dumbass bimbos on here that’ll have me”
Yeah, that pretty much says it all, thanks.
What’s made me think is the fact that this site has become a successful and profitable business for several years. It has members from all over the world who honestly and openly admit that they will only date people who they believe are on the same “beautiful” scale as them. How many more people are out there that think like this?
I think all of us are a little shallow in some respects, I’ll admit I am anyway. I’ve turned down guys because they wear god awful shoes or have an abnormally large head or short body but I’d like to think I’m not picking apart every potential partner until there’s nothing left but wondering if their eyes are symmetrical and if they’ll make me look good.
Most people have a “type” but I’ve never really been able to determine mine when it comes to looks. Personality wise I prefer to go for strong characters, those who are capable of banter, have a slightly darker side and are able to let their hair down and laugh at themselves. It’s also important to me that they are well educated, worldly wise and interested in what I am otherwise I tend to get bored incredibly quickly.
The last few men I’ve been attracted to have only had one thing in common; brown hair. The rest has been completely different. One was extremely toned and athletic, relatively good dresser, average but good looking face, average height. Second was tall, slim, covered in tattoos, pretty trendy dresser to the point of vanity. The third was a Pete Doherty look alike who even swaggered the same, dressed as if he was a tortured musician and looked like he was undressing you with every blink.
So I suppose you could say I am attracted to men with individuality about them and those who don’t have blonde hair. If you had to define your “type” what do you think it would be? Would you limit it so far that you will only go for a certain standard of person? Or do you believe that lust holds no bounds and can surprise you at every turn?
One question that’s always bothered me is this, and I warn you it may sounds terrible. Are we genetically tuned to fancy people only within our reach? For example, people that are classed slightly less attractive than the average seem to happily merge together when someone of an above average attractiveness may not fancy them. Do we have an inbuilt limit on those we are drawn to so we don’t set our sights too high? Or do we self deprecate and go for those who we believe are within our reach so we don’t get shot down in flames?
Do you ever settle when it comes to looks? Do you ever worry that you only fancy people who are out of your league?
Of course personality is an important part but not initially. There has to be a physical attraction between two people for a relationship even to get to first base but does that need for chemistry sometimes mean we become shamelessly shallow?
Have any of you ever heard of the website www.beautifulpeople.com ? If you haven’t I shall try to explain its purpose. It was started some years ago now as a dating site for people that class themselves as “beautiful”, we’re not talking inside and out beautiful, here we mean only model, perfect, toned, manicured and hairsprayed beautiful.
If you go to their sign up page their USPs are as follows...
Do looks matter to you, when it comes to selecting a partner?
Do you want to guarantee your dates will always be beautiful?
No more filtering through unattractive people on mainstream sites.
What jumps out first to me is the people that you’re going to meet on this site are on the whole going to be as dull as dish water but look fit as f***. So if you’re just looking for a one nighter, all good. If you want intelligent, stimulating conversation that has a two way street and isn’t permanently consumed by ego stroking this site may not be for you.
And this isn’t the worst part...
To keep “ugly” people away from this site there is a brutal voting system to allow people to join. You upload a picture and existing members basically tell you whether you’re gorgeous or an utter dog. If you don’t get an above average rating, you’ve got no chance!
When you do get in, it’s not any nicer either. I signed up a while ago now just to see what kind of people would actually go on this site and intended to have a bit of a joke at their expense. To be honest, the site renders me a little speechless. I’ve heard some terrible chat up lines before and given some knock backs but never have I had the reply “Your loss, plenty of other dumbass bimbos on here that’ll have me”
Yeah, that pretty much says it all, thanks.
What’s made me think is the fact that this site has become a successful and profitable business for several years. It has members from all over the world who honestly and openly admit that they will only date people who they believe are on the same “beautiful” scale as them. How many more people are out there that think like this?
I think all of us are a little shallow in some respects, I’ll admit I am anyway. I’ve turned down guys because they wear god awful shoes or have an abnormally large head or short body but I’d like to think I’m not picking apart every potential partner until there’s nothing left but wondering if their eyes are symmetrical and if they’ll make me look good.
Most people have a “type” but I’ve never really been able to determine mine when it comes to looks. Personality wise I prefer to go for strong characters, those who are capable of banter, have a slightly darker side and are able to let their hair down and laugh at themselves. It’s also important to me that they are well educated, worldly wise and interested in what I am otherwise I tend to get bored incredibly quickly.
The last few men I’ve been attracted to have only had one thing in common; brown hair. The rest has been completely different. One was extremely toned and athletic, relatively good dresser, average but good looking face, average height. Second was tall, slim, covered in tattoos, pretty trendy dresser to the point of vanity. The third was a Pete Doherty look alike who even swaggered the same, dressed as if he was a tortured musician and looked like he was undressing you with every blink.
So I suppose you could say I am attracted to men with individuality about them and those who don’t have blonde hair. If you had to define your “type” what do you think it would be? Would you limit it so far that you will only go for a certain standard of person? Or do you believe that lust holds no bounds and can surprise you at every turn?
One question that’s always bothered me is this, and I warn you it may sounds terrible. Are we genetically tuned to fancy people only within our reach? For example, people that are classed slightly less attractive than the average seem to happily merge together when someone of an above average attractiveness may not fancy them. Do we have an inbuilt limit on those we are drawn to so we don’t set our sights too high? Or do we self deprecate and go for those who we believe are within our reach so we don’t get shot down in flames?
Do you ever settle when it comes to looks? Do you ever worry that you only fancy people who are out of your league?
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