So here’s a story for you...

In previous blogs I’ve alluded to my fantastically drama filled dating existence but for this entry I thought I’d be brave and give you a full, no holds barred, look at once of my recent, um, incidents.

What happens to me a lot is it’ll all be quiet on the western front for a little while and then all hell breaks loose and I don’t know my arse from my elbow, December pretty much padded out like that.

The tale includes my ex boyfriend, a guy I met randomly and another, lets call him a flirting diversion. I shall start with a little background on my ex so we can paint a clearer picture and we’ll call him Alan.

Alan and I were together for less than a year, the beginning of the relationship was pretty fantastic but 6 months in the cracks began to appear. He was 27, had never had a girlfriend before (he wasn’t a scutter by the way, actually fairly fit) and had some how gained a storage container’s worth of emotional baggage / self confidence issues. Suffice to say thanks to my ability to not admit defeat easily we soldiered on for a little while longer until it all fell apart.

At the time I was fairly hurt but on the scale of heartbroken I wasn’t reaching wrist slitting heights and within time I laid it to rest as much as I could with unanswered questions still looming. It seemed he had other ideas on this though and for the next 4 years popped up every now and then sending me messages like “I think I...” (yes that was it) and then recently peaking at “I’ve always regretted what I did, I wish you were here”

We had attempted the friend thing after 2 years of us splitting up but due to this look he has a habit of giving me and the questionable circumstances of the ending I always had an air of caution when I spent time with him, and rightly so it turns out.

So now to dip into the information on the guy I met randomly. First date probably featured on some of the all time worst first dates to start off with. He had a severe tendency to take the piss, now I can be about as sarcastic as they come but this fella totally blew me out of the water and for a good few hours he just laid into me in an attempt to be funny. In my mind, this was a disaster, but I stuck with it and the end of the date spun things around and changed my perspective on him.

Half way through said date and I get a text from flirt diversion asking me if I was in town and if I wanted to “hook up” later, I tried to hide the shock on my face in front of random guy and speedily put my phone back in my bag and decide FD can wait for now.

5.30am on the morning after this date I get a message from Alan “Yo DC, how you doing?” not the best timing in the world I think you can agree. He’s obviously pissed, obviously reminiscing and once again gets under my skin when my new date is sleeping sounding in my bed. Winner. I ignore the message, for the time being.

Time goes on, I see the random guy a few more times. He states his thoughts on dating, appears to very strongly believe that dating more than one person at a time is morally wrong (this scuppers me as I’m actually dating someone else at the same time too aka flirt divert) which puts me in a quandary as to whether random guy is worth me ditching divert guy and Alan to concentrate on just him.

I spend the next few weeks deciding whether or not I can put up with his piss taking, settle for one guy and be able to cut loose on the others... this was debated back and forth for quite some time.

Technology then conspires against me, I’ve text random guy and not had a reply... for 2 whole weeks. I see this as a blessing in disguise, one less decision to make and continue on with the rest of my dramas.

Then something came out of complete left field. Alan decides (when pissed of course) to insinuate he might want me back. Then I hear he’s been talking about this with his friends and these friends then decide to get involved and attempt to help us get back together.

At this point I really had nothing to lose and felt like I was being swept along with this anyway so decide to meet up with Alan and discuss this development.

He comes round, we have tea and watch a film and as the night goes on it dawns on me that, if I let him, he isn’t going to address the issue so I make the decision to be the one to grow some balls and go for the jugular.

For the next 2 hours we go over everything, one of the most intense conversations of my life and for a short while I even dare to think he’s changed and it might be different this time round. The chemistry was still there and it really felt like we could pick up where we left off. How wrong you can be!

One week later and it’s back to the old story of him going radio silent, freaking out and generally being an emotional retard and sending my head firmly up my jaxxy. I give him the benefit of the doubt for a short while but after he fails to turn up at my house after I’d told him I needed to get something off my chest a moment of clarity descended on me and I called it a day.

Next bit... Random guy’s silence is broken by me receiving 4 texts, one after another, at 4.30am one morning. These texts are basically what he has sent me over the last 2 weeks and for whatever reason they’d only just made it to my phone. I reply, firstly being cautious and explaining I didn’t think we were a good fit but after he’d told me I was the best sex he’d ever had my strong stance weakened immensely which lead to me being in his bed the next night... slut I know but my ego had been bruised so give me a break!

Flirt divert had also been in contact and that scenario was still on going but never really getting anywhere, especially after I’d found out he’d offered to show some ‘personal’ messages from me to one of his mates.. “Oh no you diddddnn’tt” but he did.

Moving on.... I attempt to eat humble pie with random guy, thinking I’d been too hasty the first time round, maybe he wasn’t all the annoying things I thought he was as I do have a habit of picking holes in someone until they resemble a crater and I wanted to stick to my new year’s resolution of not being so god damn picky. I get little response but to be fair I was really forcing myself into it so I didn’t become too suspicious too soon, until I hear the tail end of some gossip. Random guy has got back with his ex girlfriend.

I swear to God, I honestly laughed out loud. First at the shear ludicrousness of this situation, then at his massive hypocrisy (he’d said, and I quote “If I’ve learnt anything in my years getting back with an ex never works, people don’t change” after I’d told him about Alan) and finally at the fact that my love life continues to be one massive balls up after another. You have to laugh though don’t you!!

So, to summarise, in just over a month I have partially dated 3 men, one who turn out to be a wanker, one who remained to be a wanker and one who didn’t reach being a wanker. Not bad for a months work I don’t think!