When fate steps in...

The word “fate” is thrown around our society for all situations but never as much as it is when it comes to relationships, but do we really believe in it? And if we do, how come we so often ignore it?

When using the useful tool that is hindsight I see my relationship history littered with examples of “fate” some of which I took notice of, many I brushed under the carpet and later came to regret. If you look back on yours, how many times should you have taken notice of that feeling something just happened for a reason? That it was destined to change the course of your relationship. If you can’t immediately come up with examples you’re not looking properly, so let me divulge some of mine and I bet it helps jog your own memories.

One of the most notable times I think fate stepped in and helped me out was during a holiday with an boyfriend and my parents. This holiday wasn’t actually going to happened but for what might be a divine reason it got pushed ahead and we all set off for the sunshine. Now, let me set the scene; I’d been with this chap for quite some time, my mother thought he was ace and was secretly hoping for marriage, we seemed, on the surface, reasonably happy.

Add in two weeks in a foreign country with your parents and partner, family friends and differing personalities and you will soon be inflicted with many challenging situations. I did have a habit in my younger days of becoming utterly blinded when in a relationship, as several people do, but for whatever reason during our break away my blinkers were slowly removed from my eyes to reveal a massively failing relationship that I had been blissfully unaware of for months.

Obviously upon our return to the UK a break up was inevitable due to swallowing a massive dose of reality coupled with my mother bashing my head against sense and reason a few times whilst we were away and the relationship ended. After the fog and trauma of this lifted I began to realise something, whatever it was, had stepped in and made me smell the roses, that holiday happened for a reason.

I won’t bore you with lengthy details on other ways fate has pressed a stop or start button for me so let me just recap briefly; I’ve been dating someone and not planned to go out on an evening but for an unknown reason I’ve change my mind, gone out, and caught them with someone else. Then there was the time I’d logged onto a site for no particular reason and found my date chatting up other women. Or out of no where felt compelled to call my partner to find they weren’t where they’d said they’d be... I could go on and on.

Before we turn this into a hugely negative situation, look at the positives. If these things had not have happened I would have continued to be unaware that I was in a relationship with a prick and that would be bad. Yes, it’s horrible to find something out you weren’t expecting but in the same hand, wouldn’t you rather know?

Fate works in wonderful ways and does so to help us, not to stick the knife in as it might occasionally feel and let us not forget it can help us find a special someone too.

You’ve gone somewhere you hadn’t planned to, spoken to someone you didn’t intend to, taken a job, joined a group, done whatever that is usually out of your comfort zone but for some reason you can’t explain felt the need to do it and you’ve met someone because of that. Do you believe it’s just utter coincidence or maybe a higher power is pushing you in the right directions?

I don’t like to think my life is already predetermined because that’s just boring and we can of course ignore that little thing telling us to go to that bar or sign up to that site, we can resist all we like but if we just gave fate a chance could our love lives turn into an exciting adventure rather than a monotonous hum drum?

Honestly, I believe there is a thing none of us can understand that guides us to our destiny, the bad relationships happen to teach us to appreciate the good ones. The mistakes we make help us become stronger and more balanced. The frogs we have to kiss ensure we know once we pucker up for our Prince. Everything in life is part of a rich tapestry, one we should appreciate for all its colours, the dark and the light.

Most importantly, don’t ignore your instincts, don’t run away from fate just because you think it might be nonsense. What are you afraid of? Life is too short to not tune into the chances that come your way.

Let fate step in.